J’et suis Bernard Webb avec bonbons et Jacques Cousteau


Peter: Hi folks, it’s Peter…

Gordon: …and Gordon…

Peter: of the famous pop duo “Peter and Gordon” and we are very good friends with The Beatles.

Gordon: Speaking of our very good friends, The Beatles, I wonder what they are up to these days?

Peter: Yes, it’s nearly spring…

Gordon: …of 1966

Peter: and we haven’t heard a word of them the whole year!

Gordon: Not a word.

Peter: Well, in the absence of our very good friends The Beatles, how about giving a listen to our latest record?

Gordon: OK, I’ll do that!

Peter: No, not you, the general public!

General public: Uh..wha? Good morning…what year is it?

Gordon: 1966!

Peter: Would you like to hear our latest record, a lovely big ballad in the style of our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…

Gordon: But it’s not written by our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…at all!

Peter: No, it’s written by…er…er…

Gordon: Bernard Webb

Peter: Bernard Webb who is a very good friend of ours and a musical student…

Gordon: And he is very French!

General public: If he’s French then why does the publishing credit say “Northern Songs”, just like on the Lennon/McCartney songs which it resembles?

Gordon: You tell him, Peter!

Peter: Er…Mr Webb was in England and er…Dick James heard the song and liked it and asked him if he could publish it!

Gordon: Yes! And Mr. Webb said yes!

Peter: Yes!

General public: Then why does it sound exactly like a Paul McCartney song?

Gordon: You tell him, Peter !

Peter: Er..because he’s very good!

Gordon: Yes!

Peter: So it’s not a pseudonym for our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…

Gordon: At all!

General public: Look, I know Paul is fed up with people saying his songs are only hits because he wrote them…

Gordon: And we are sick of people saying we rely too much on our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…

Peter: Shut up

General public: I ain’t buying that crap , bye.

Peter: Darn! Hey Paul, looks like our experiment didn’t work…They found out it was you!

Paul: Cor blimey!

Gordon: And they didn’t buy the record anyway!

Paul: Bloody hell!You should have used the “little string arrangement” like I told you!

Gordon: It was top 30, though…and who’s idea was the new arrangement anyway?

Paul: Shut up or I’ll give you no more hits!

Peter: I wouldn’t call that a hit – in the true sense of the word…

Paul: You too! I’ll marry yer sister!

Peter: You can try…


Published in: on August 8, 2007 at 12:09 pm  Leave a Comment  

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