Peter: Hi folks, it’s Peter…
Gordon: …and Gordon…
Peter: of the famous pop duo “Peter and Gordon” and we are very good friends with The Beatles.
Gordon: Speaking of our very good friends, The Beatles, I wonder what they are up to these days?
Peter: Yes, it’s nearly spring…
Gordon: …of 1966
Peter: and we haven’t heard a word of them the whole year!
Gordon: Not a word.
Peter: Well, in the absence of our very good friends The Beatles, how about giving a listen to our latest record?
Gordon: OK, I’ll do that!
Peter: No, not you, the general public!
General public: Uh..wha? Good morning…what year is it?
Gordon: 1966!
Peter: Would you like to hear our latest record, a lovely big ballad in the style of our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…
Gordon: But it’s not written by our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…at all!
Peter: No, it’s written by…er…er…
Gordon: Bernard Webb
Peter: Bernard Webb who is a very good friend of ours and a musical student…
Gordon: And he is very French!
General public: If he’s French then why does the publishing credit say “Northern Songs”, just like on the Lennon/McCartney songs which it resembles?
Gordon: You tell him, Peter!
Peter: Er…Mr Webb was in England and er…Dick James heard the song and liked it and asked him if he could publish it!
Gordon: Yes! And Mr. Webb said yes!
Peter: Yes!
General public: Then why does it sound exactly like a Paul McCartney song?
Gordon: You tell him, Peter !
Peter: Er..because he’s very good!
Gordon: Yes!
Peter: So it’s not a pseudonym for our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…
Gordon: At all!
General public: Look, I know Paul is fed up with people saying his songs are only hits because he wrote them…
Gordon: And we are sick of people saying we rely too much on our very good friend Paul McCartney of The Beatles…
Peter: Shut up
General public: I ain’t buying that crap , bye.
Peter: Darn! Hey Paul, looks like our experiment didn’t work…They found out it was you!
Paul: Cor blimey!
Gordon: And they didn’t buy the record anyway!
Paul: Bloody hell!You should have used the “little string arrangement” like I told you!
Gordon: It was top 30, though…and who’s idea was the new arrangement anyway?
Paul: Shut up or I’ll give you no more hits!
Peter: I wouldn’t call that a hit – in the true sense of the word…
Paul: You too! I’ll marry yer sister!
Peter: You can try…
